Midlands and Yorkshire Classic Car Club

Our young

motoring correspondent

AUBREY BAGGPUSS

 and his

VEHICLE BLOG BOOK

Follow Aubrey on TWITTER

 SEPTEMBER 2021

This month sees the introduction of E10 petrol, which absorbs water, is about 1% less powerful than normal fuel and wrecks classic cars if used over a period of time. If you have an older car or a historic one, avoid it like the plague.

 JUNE 2021

One model of the Peugeot van has the ridiculous name of 'Bipper'. Whilst one could understand a van being called 'Nipper' what the hell is a 'Bipper'? It is just a stupid-sounding meaningless name.

I certainly could not take any businessman seriously who arrives in a vehicle called a 'Bipper'.

A home handyman was in our street last week in a 'Bipper' looking for work. I am not surprised. I waved him away and, pointing at his van model badge, I could not help bursting out laughing.

MAY 2021

A classic car dealer is advertising that he has for sale a "Ford Console". No, not part of a dashboard but a whole car. The photo shows that it is a "Ford Consul" being offered. How on earth can you have confidence is someone who doesn't know the proper name of the product he is selling?  The duffer must be a complete irriott.

APRIL 2021

I was impressed with an advert I read recently, which invited the public to pay to attend a number of learning courses, so I decided to join the lot. 'How to Buy a Classic Car' was course one. The second was 'Learn how to become a Classic Car Dealer' and course three was 'Teach Yourself how to Service your Classic Car.' Marvellous! Fantastic!

The trouble is, after splashing out on the huge fees being charged for each course, I now find that I am completely skint and can't afford to buy any classic vehicle!

As the courses all completely fail to explain how to deal with this problem, I have decided to start my own series of courses under the heading 'Learn how to save up to buy a classic car.' My courses are only £1200 per person per day.

Join now by sending me your cheque right away.

 

FEBRUARY 2021

 I see that "ready mixed" anti freeze is now being sold in some garages and motoring stores.

Has there ever been a bigger rip-off or a product more stupid? Why on earth should you pay to purchase and carry home the manufacturer's added water which you can add for free from your own tap?

Last month I was out in my classic car  when  I  encountered a number of joggers happily running along the roadside.  

 I couldn’t help marvel at their physique: grey lank hair, with varicose veined legs and badly lined faces.  In short, they all looked completely knackered.   Why is it that the characters who go jogging might be fit but they all look 30 years older than they are? 

Much better to relax in the comfortable leather seat of your classic car as you roar past  these  tragic  cases.  

Also, it has been shown that jogging on concrete or tarmac makes you an  early candidate  for a  hip  replacement, so whenever I see joggers on the road, I wind down the window and roar with laughter.  

 

JANUARY 2021

As I am always on the move, I have decided to try to make new friends outside Facebook but by applying the same principles..

Therefore every day, instead of being glued to a computer, I put on my mask, walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.

I also give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in my garage, cutting the lawn, standing in front of local landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.

I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them too. And it is working just like Facebook!

I already have five people following me: two community police officers, a private investigator, a social worker and a psychiatric nurse!

 




STREET WISE TIPS

RUNNING A CLASSIC? AVOID RED ANTI-FREEZE

This is important information when you re-fill or top up your classic car with anti-freeze.

When you do TAKE CARE. Most stores and garages now sell red anti –freeze, which lasts longer. However, it also can attack seals, gaskets and hoses used in classic and historic vehicles.

So, don’t ’put your old car at risk!

Avoid the red stuff at all costs and stick to the more traditional blue or green varieties.

DRIVING ABROAD?

Memo for driving in Europe

With so many delightful seaside towns in the UK, many classic car-owning motorists prefer to stay here rather than travel abroad -and who can blame them.

But, if you do decide to venture overseas – and take your classic car with you – remember there are certain rules which apply in other countries which are not applicable here. Below is a quick guide how to keep on the correct side of the law when going across the Channel.

France

The French are very strict when it comes to motoring and, believe it or not, drivers must have at least one unused breathalyser displaying the French ‘NF’ certification mark, in their car. France has also banned speed camera warning devices, and, after doing so, has installed 400 new fixed speed cameras. Their anti-car government has also taken down all the signs alerting motorists to them –so watch it.

You will need a warning triangle, a GB sticker and you will need a reflective vest for each person in the car.

When in France also take very great care when you fill up with fuel. French garages sell the dreaded ‘E10’ which contains 10 per cent ethanol. This is lethal to a classic car fuel system: so do not fill up with E10 – you have been warned!

Spain

In Spain, remember that you have to use your car indicators on motorways, both before and after overtaking – and you can get an on the spot fine if you don’t do it. You must also put your headlights on when driving through a tunnel and can be fined for not so doing. If you wear glasses you are required to carry an extra pair when driving

Belarus

It is illegal to drive dirty car! Serbia Drivers must have a towbar and 3 m of rope in their vehicle.

And remember, if you have classic car number plates, you must also display the letters 'GB' on the rear of the vehicle.

Austria

A first aid kit is also required.

* * *

DEALING WITH POTHOLES  

It is estimated that there are about two million of them. They are lethal and their whereabouts can take you by surprise. We are talking about potholes, the blight of classic car motoring.

More potholes are expected to appear on British roads -and the number of breakdowns they have caused is on the rise. Shockingly vehicle failures caused by potholes in the final 3 months of last year were up 24% on a year earlier, despite less rainfall.

Pothole accidents have left drivers with broken suspension springs, damaged shock absorbers and buckled wheels according to the RAC who said that "urgent remedial repairs are need to reduce the risk of further damage to vehicles or injuries to bikers and cyclists.

Clearly insufficient preventative maintenance by local councils, such as resurfacing, is to blame.

The Department of Transport has committed £6 billion for English Councils to improve local roads in this Parliament, in addition to a £50million a year fund specifically for tackling potholes, so this is good news.

But, there is a council road maintenance backlog. Indeed, some councils seem more obsessed with installing new speed humps than in repairing damaged roads. However, drivers do have some weapons at their disposal, so follow our simple guide:-

If you see a bad pothole, note its location, photograph it if you can and tell the local authority, keeping a copy of your Email or letter. Some councils have template forms on their websites. Once a council knows about a dangerous pothole, it is duty- bound to deal with it.

If you hit a pothole and damage your vehicle, note the exact location and, again, photograph the pothole and the damage. Ripped tyres are the most common. Keep all paperwork that relates to repairs.

If the damage isn't visible - such as a suspension problem or dislocated alignment of the steering, go to a garage, get your car repaired and a report prepared.

Some arrogant councils always make a point of initially refusing to pay when a claim is made, whatever the circumstances. But a local authority can only legitimately reject claims if it did not know about the pothole and can show that it is thorough in inspecting its roads.

That is why if you have previously reported a pothole, and later damage your car on the same one, provided you can prove you have reported it, the council do not have a leg to stand on.

If a council clown says they have no money to repair the potholes, this is no excuse. It is also not true as the government has earmarked an extra £50 million to give to councils to deal with this problem.

For further info, look at https://protect-eu.mimecast.com/s/CWVsCWL3DiGB9LXiBhJdL?domain=potholes.co.uk - this gives advice of how to make a claim.