Midlands and Yorkshire Classic Car Club

Our young

motoring correspondent

AUBREY BAGGPUSS

 and his

VEHICLE BLOG BOOK

Follow Aubrey on TWITTER

 

SEPTEMBER 2019

I was impressed with an advert I read recently, which invited the public to pay to attend a number of learning courses, so I decided to join the lot.

'How to Buy a Classic Car' was course one.  The second was 'Learn how to become a Classic Car Dealer' and course three was 'Teach Yourself how to Service your Classic Car.'  Marvellous! Fantastic!

The trouble is, after splashing out on the huge fees being charged for each course, I now find that I am completely skint and can't afford to buy any classic vehicle!

As the courses all completely fail to explain how to deal with this problem, I have decided to start my own series of courses under the heading 'Learn how to save up to buy a classic car.' My courses are only £1200 per person per day.

Join now by sending me your cheque right away.

 JULY 2019

 I see that "ready mixed" anti freeze is being sold in some garages and motoring stores.

Has there ever been a bigger rip-off or a product more stupid? Why on earth should you pay to purchase and carry home the manufacturer's added water which you can add for free from your own tap?

Also, this time of the year there seems to be more pedestrians jogging along the roadside. They have probably read articles saying that running or jogging is good for the heart. However, they are obviously stupidly ignorant of the fact that jogging on concrete or tarmac makes you an early hip replacement candidate. The poor sods - I can't stop laughing!

JUNE 2019

One model of the Peugeot van has the ridiculous name of 'Bipper'. Whilst one could understand a van being called 'Nipper' what the hell is a 'Bipper'? It is just a stupid-sounding meaningless name.

I certainly could not take any businessman seriously who arrives in a vehicle called a 'Bipper'.

A home handyman was in our street last week in a 'Bipper' looking for work. I am not surprised. I waved him away and, pointing at his van model badge, I could not help bursting out laughing.

 MARCH 2019

I see that the New Inn at Tickton has closed down. I am not surprised. Expensive prices for pub food with a fancy name, no change in the menu selection month after month, no wi-fi for customers and the sort of greeting when you enter that a corpse would give an undertaker. It will not be missed..

JANUARY 2019

One car show organiser is saying on his website that entries are now closed for his next classic car show but you can still enter your classic if you pay the full admission price charged to the public of £6-50 each person!

This is an impertinence. Without the support of classic car owners, this berk would not even have a show at all and yet he expects late entrants to pay full whack, with not even a couple of quid off the ticket price. In other words, no recognition of the fact that even late entrants are adding to the quality and variety of the event.

This man can "get stuffed" as far as I am concerned. Wood-heads like this do not deserve our support, mark my words.

DECEMBER 2018

As I am always on the move, I have decided to try to make new friends outside Facebook but by applying the same principles..

Therefore every day, instead of being glued to a computer, I walk down the street and now tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.

I also give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in my garage, cutting the lawn, standing in front of local landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.

I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them too. And it is working just like Facebook!

I already have five people following me: two community police officers, a private investigator, a social worker and a psychiatric nurse!

MARCH 2018

Some friends of mine recently took their classic car out for a run and stopped at the Percy Arms, Airmyn, near Goole, for a drink.Upon enquiring if the pub had WiFi, they were told that it did, so they bought a drink and found a seat.

Then, upon asking the staff for the WiFi code so they could access the internet, they were astonished to be told by the giirl behind the bar that she didn't know what the code was. After a couple of minutes of her asking other members of staff, it transpired that no-one on duty at the pub knew what their own WiFi code was!!!

What a load of gormless wallies! I wonder if the owners are in any way related to those who run the York Auction Centre!

...If you are ever driving past the Percy Arms, take my advice,....keep driving!.

JANUARY 2018

This month I decided to visit an Autojumble at the York Auction Centre at Murton, York, which is advertised to run from 8am until 1pm. on the second Saturday of every month.

I arrived at 11.15am only to find every single stall had been packed away and the event had closed, apart from someone selling bird seed! Why bird seed was for sale at an Autojumble escapes me but I am minded to invoice the incompetent owners of the site for my wasted time and petrol!

Whilst I was there another two carloads of people turned up looking for the stalls but soon left because the traders had all flown.

One old boy on site, who was trying to eat a sandwich without his teeth in, confided in me that some of the traders arrive at 6.30am but he did not know why they had all left before the appointed time.

Really? Well, I don't know why they all got there before the appointed time, as the event opens at 8.00am and not 6.30am. After all, this is supposed to be an Autojumble, not a Car Boot Sale for insomniacs!

Murton Autojumble? -give it a miss - which is exactly what you will do anyway, even if you turn up during it's advertised opening hours!




STREET WISE TIPS

RUNNING A CLASSIC? AVOID RED ANTI-FREEZE

This is important information when you re-fill or top up your classic car with anti-freeze.

When you do TAKE CARE. Most stores and garages now sell red anti –freeze, which lasts longer. However, it also can attack seals, gaskets and hoses used in classic and historic vehicles.

So, don’t ’put your old car at risk!

Avoid the red stuff at all costs and stick to the more traditional blue or green varieties.

DRIVING ABROAD?

Memo for driving in Europe

With so many delightful seaside towns in the UK, many classic car-owning motorists prefer to stay here rather than travel abroad -and who can blame them.

But, if you do decide to venture overseas – and take your classic car with you – remember there are certain rules which apply in other countries which are not applicable here. Below is a quick guide how to keep on the correct side of the law when going across the Channel.

France

The French are very strict when it comes to motoring and, believe it or not, drivers must have at least one unused breathalyser displaying the French ‘NF’ certification mark, in their car. France has also banned speed camera warning devices, and, after doing so, has installed 400 new fixed speed cameras. Their anti-car government has also taken down all the signs alerting motorists to them –so watch it.

You will need a warning triangle, a GB sticker and you will need a reflective vest for each person in the car.

When in France also take very great care when you fill up with fuel. French garages sell the dreaded ‘E10’ which contains 10 per cent ethanol. This is lethal to a classic car fuel system: so do not fill up with E10 – you have been warned!

Spain

In Spain, remember that you have to use your car indicators on motorways, both before and after overtaking – and you can get an on the spot fine if you don’t do it. You must also put your headlights on when driving through a tunnel and can be fined for not so doing. If you wear glasses you are required to carry an extra pair when driving

Belarus

It is illegal to drive dirty car! Serbia Drivers must have a towbar and 3 m of rope in their vehicle.

And remember, if you have classic car number plates, you must also display the letters 'GB' on the rear of the vehicle.

Austria

A first aid kit is also required.

Greece

Here, remember to take a trailer stuffed with cash, as their banks dosn't have any!

* * *

DEALING WITH COUNCIL POTHOLES  

It is estimated that there are about two million of them. They are lethal and their whereabouts can take you by surprise. We are talking about potholes, the blight of classic car motoring.

More potholes are expected to appear on British roads -and the number of breakdowns they have caused is on the rise. Shockingly vehicle failures caused by potholes in the final 3 months of last year were up 24% on a year earlier, despite less rainfall.

Pothole accidents have left drivers with broken suspension springs, damaged shock absorbers and buckled wheels according to the RAC who said that "urgent remedial repairs are need to reduce the risk of further damage to vehicles or injuries to bikers and cyclists.

Clearly insufficient preventative maintenance by local councils, such as resurfacing, is to blame.

The Department of Transport has committed £6 billion for English Councils to improve local roads in this Parliament, in addition to a £50million a year fund specifically for tackling potholes, so this is good news.

But, there is a council road maintenance backlog. Indeed, some councils seem more obsessed with installing new speed humps than in repairing damaged roads. However, drivers do have some weapons at their disposal, so follow our simple guide:-

If you see a bad pothole, note its location, photograph it if you can and tell the local authority, keeping a copy of your Email or letter. Some councils have template forms on their websites. Once a council knows about a dangerous pothole, it is duty- bound to deal with it.

If you hit a pothole and damage your vehicle, note the exact location and, again, photograph the pothole and the damage. Ripped tyres are the most common. Keep all paperwork that relates to repairs.

If the damage isn't visible - such as a suspension problem or dislocated alignment of the steering, go to a garage, get your car repaired and a report prepared.

Some arrogant councils always make a point of initially refusing to pay when a claim is made, whatever the circumstances. But a local authority can only legitimately reject claims if it did not know about the pothole and can show that it is thorough in inspecting its roads.

That is why if you have previously reported a pothole, and later damage your car on the same one, provided you can prove you have reported it, the council do not have a leg to stand on.

If a council clown says they have no money to repair the potholes, this is no excuse. It is also not true as the government has earmarked an extra £50 million to give to councils to deal with this problem.

For further info, look at https://protect-eu.mimecast.com/s/CWVsCWL3DiGB9LXiBhJdL?domain=potholes.co.uk - this gives advice of how to make a claim.